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Or have you ever wished you could find a way to join a group of cool people and fit in like you’ve always belonged?

Ever wish you could be one of those people who can just make friends the way other folks breathe?

and the next time they would meet, his rival’s attitude would have changed so profoundly that they would often be close friends for the rest of their lives.

Speaking for myself: I start talking faster the more excited (or nervous) I get; when I get on a roll, I can give the Micro-Machines guy The problem is that when we speak quickly, it feels as though we’re trying to put one over on the person we’re talking to; we can’t dazzle them with our brilliance, so we want to baffle them with our bullshit.

Think of a used car-salesman; you’re not sure , but you just know he’s trying to scam you, so you instinctively don’t trust him.

Franklin was taking advantage of an effect known as cognitive dissonance – the tension between the man’s attitude (“I hate Ben Franklin”) and the fact that he just did a favor for a man he disliked.

Our brains don’t like the tension; we prefer to at least So by asking a stranger for their help – getting some advice to settle a disagreement, wanting to know where they got those boots, what they think about the brand of phone they’re using – we’re asking them to do something nice for us. Another key psychological component to building rapport with someone is to remember that we instinctively like people who like . So one of the easiest ways to indicate that we like someone is to let them know we think they’re fascinating and that they have a lot to offer.

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