Choice dating sites

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As Christian Rudder, an Ok Cupid co-founder, tells it, women who were rated very attractive were unlikely to respond to men rated less attractive.But when they were matched on Crazy Blind Date, they had a good time. Rudder puts it, “people appear to be heavily preselecting online for something that, once they sit down in person, doesn’t seem important to them.”Some of what we learned about effective photos on Ok Cupid was predictable: Women who flirt for the camera or show cleavage are quite successful.We recommend the following: If you are a woman, take a high-angle selfie, with cleavage, while you’re underwater near some buried treasure.

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“It’s not the place to actually date.” The anthropologist Helen Fisher, who does work for Match.com, makes a similar argument: “It’s a misnomer that they call these things ‘dating services,’ ” she told us.

TOO MANY OPTIONS As research by Barry Schwartz and other psychologists has shown, having more options not only makes it harder to choose something, but also may make us less satisfied with our choices, because we can’t help wonder whether we erred.

Consider a study by the Columbia University psychologist Sheena S. She set up a table at an upscale food store and offered shoppers samples of jams.

Many singles compare it to a second job, more duty than flirtation; the word “exhausting” came up constantly. Is there a way to do it more effectively, with less stress?

The evidence from our two years of study, which included interviews around the world, from Tokyo to Wichita, Kan., says yes.

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