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Before we pat ourselves on the back, we should acknowledge that we still have the highest rate in the Western World.” Not only does sex education still virtually not exist in some areas of the country, but school programs that do teach kids about what used to be called the facts of life start too late.A recent CDC study showed that among teens ages 15-17 who have had sex, nearly 80% did not receive any formal sex education before they lost their virginity.Everyone is feeling a little awkward.” But the Fremont parents aren’t budging.“Any good parent monitors what their child has access to,” says Topham.“It’s a way to say to someone, here is a thing that could destroy me, I trust that you won’t use it.” On paper, the United States is checking all the right boxes of managing teen sexual behavior.

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Other studies have found that 10% of young women who had their first sexual experience in their teenage years say it was not their choice, and the younger they were, the more likely this was the case. ” Young people now engage in relationships increasingly via technology, which means they’re able to connect in a variety of ways and at a speed and frequency not known to prior generations.“I think denying that [sex] is part of our culture in 2014 is really not serving our kids well,” says Lara Calvert-York, president of the Fremont school board, who argues that kids are already seeing hyper-sexualized content—on after school TV.“So, let’s have a frank conversation about what these things are if that’s what the kids need to talk about,” she says.“We don’t say, ‘they’re going to drink anyway, let’s give them a car with bigger airbags.’” The parents note that the book was actually written for college students, and refers to college-related activities like bar crawls.(While acknowledging this, the book’s author Sara L. Mackenzie, believes it’s appropriate for high schoolers; her children read it at 13.) The book has been shelved, at least for this year. The Fremont showdown is a local skirmish in what has become a complicated and exhausting battle that schools and parents are facing across the nation. TIME reviewed the leading research on the subject as well as currently available resources to produce the information that follows, as well as specific guides to how and when to talk to kids on individual topics.

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